hello im' back
but i didn't come with something interesting to say. Played bball in the morning. Was supposed to go church with jianwei afterwards, but then end up never go cause we're both just too friggin tired and don't have the mood to do such a thing.

however. I bought something.
in relevance of the x-mini speakers.
i bought the hamburger!
SGD$28 from challenger.

uh.


for something so small
it sure can pack a punch
just another accessory for my phone i guess. I'll be bringing it to school on monday. Blast in class man blast it.

and oh did i mention that i'm rewatching naruto from the start.
i'm at episode 79. uh. apx. 141episodes more to go. What a good way to waste time.

and uh uh
i lazy write now. that's all for now!

oh
it's been almost a week since i've posted.
okay.
i'm not emo or whatever already
but then but then.
i never post. also not because that i'm feeling bad or anything. But more like. I just felt like doing something else more relaxing. Not that blogging is stresful. but sometimes sitting back and just lying down watching shows make you forget about this wonderful little blog

i need to spare sometime for this pathetic blog. Seriously i feel like i'm neglecting it.
OH MY POOR BLOG

a lil update about my com...
would be.
OH LOOK. MY WALLPAPER CHANGED


STUDY LAH

custom-made wallpaper by me
plain and simple. :D

see that everyone?
can you see that burning motivation inside me. I completed my physics notes that's supposed to be tested on next thursday. and i'm revising on my amaths. How hardworking am i.
OH LOOK. THE PIGS ARE FLYING

and man
i'm neglecting my facebook as well. I think i'm side tracking from my daily activities too much. I should probably get back onto my daily life. I mean come on. How could i not just turn on the com, msn, blog, music, game. and just do random stuffs. but hey.

i'm blogging at this ungodly hour
i'm tired.
i'm going to sleep
well.
depending on what happens tomorrow. You might be looking forward to quite an interesting post.

even when i braced myself for it
the impact smashed me into pieces

i guess i just could not foresee nor control my feelings properly. Of all the things, almost all came as expected, but i still didn't break free from the chain of fuckness

either case
i went out today and released some stress. Thx, joseph for asking me out at the right time. It was pretty relieving. and it took my mind off stuffs. I think i might have just found the hypothetical solution to my fuckness.

and.
hey.
david beckham is gay



after this, a random lucky shot

70 yard goal



blah. i want to shoot like him ^^

blah
recently
everyone seems to be telling me that they're tired

i'm tired too

i think and thinkg and think about the past long long time ago. And even though i don't really feel it, i felt that i've grown. Though thinking and thinking. I feel that i'm still quite an ass. But i'll continue to reflect upon my actions.
I've improved from the past. But i still think it's not enough. I think i'm starting to see why kids are immature. Like, i'm not that matured yet, but i'm starting to see what fucked me up in the past. from years back

okay moving on.
there are quite a few interesting things in my head
but as i've said
i'm tired. so i'll post them up tmr.

this is how i feel

Becca - I'm alive

Nothing I say comes out right,
I cant love without a fight,
No one ever knows my name,
When I pray for sun, it rains.
Im so sick of wasting time,
But nothings moving in my mind,
Inspiration cant be found,
I get up and fall but,

Im Alive, Im Alive, oh yeah
Between the good and bad is where youll find me,
Reaching for heaven.
I will fight, and Ill sleep when I die,
Ill live my life, Im Alive!

Every lover breaks my heart,
And I know it from the start,
Still I end up in a mess,
Every time I second guess.
All my friends just run away,
When Im having a bad day,
I would rather stay in bed, but I know theres a reason.

Im Alive, Im Alive, oh yeah
Between the good and bad is where youll find me,
Reaching for heaven.
I will fight, and Ill sleep when I die,
Ill live my life, Im Alive!

When Im bored to death at home,
When he wont pick up the phone,
When Im stuck in second place,
Those regrets I cant erase.
Only I can change the end,
Of the movie in my head,
Theres no time for misery,
I wont feel sorry for me.

Im Alive, Im Alive, oh yeah
Between the good and bad is where youll find me,
Reaching for heaven.
I will fight, and Ill sleep when I die,
Ill live my life, ohhhh!

Im Alive, Im Alive, oh yeah
Between the good and bad is where youll find me,
Reaching for heaven.
I will fight, and Ill sleep when I die,
Ill live my life,
Ill live my life,
Im Alive!

sigh
sometimes when i just feel so annoyed
sometimes when things just doesn't work out
sometimes when you just feel screwed
sometimes when you just don't want anymore things thrown at you
sometimes when you're faced with too much contradictions
sometimes when you're the contradiction itself
sometimes when you keep getting misunderstood
sometimes when the shouting just gets on your nerves
sometimes when the littlest things just spoils your day
sometimes when you're just running away from problems
sometimes when you just want to start afresh
sometimes when you realised things have changed
sometimes when you get neglected
sometimes when things just piles up
sometimes when you lose something very important
sometimes when i feel like this, i feel like crying
sometimes when i cry, i realise that there's no point to it
sometimes when you regret over things
sometimes when mistakes made can't be undone
sometimes when you struggle to keep the mask on
sometimes when the hatred is so strong it's suffocating
sometimes when you cry just to control your anger
sometimes when you overhear things that you hate to hear about

there are just sometimes
that i feel like this.

yep
i'm here to update you about my experience in churh

out of the blue
jianwei invited my to go to his church. Being an atheist. my first reply was of course, "no" but hey. i was thinking. No harm going, it's been a reaaaallllyyyy long time since i went to a church anyways. I want to see if there's anything that might change my mind about how screwed up preaching is. but the answer is pretty obvious.
but the experience wasn't that bad i must say

i was startled by the fact that it was all AHS people that i was going with. And i managed to talk to people that i only know by name.
people like odelia
but somehow i think i get known for the wrong reasons. she's like, "hi, i'm odelia, you are?"
well, i'm like "hi, yea i know you, from band right?"
then she's like, "yeah how you know, you kaihong right?"
i'm like "yeah. "
she's like. "mingli right."
i'm like "... UH, YONGQUAN YONGQUAN. LOL"
then i manged to talk to yannis whom i never thought i would speak to again.
she's like "hello, we same class in sec1 right"
i'm like "yeah, yannis right."
then after that. idk why i said this but i just did
"eh you slimmed down quite alot from sec 1 ley"
(is that supposed to be good? idk, but that's what i've been thinking for quite some time already)
then she's like "no no no! i think i grew fatter"
i'm like "oh. rightt~ no lah. chubby."

then shangbo is there too!
he came up to me in a very friendly manner. and said. "eh why you never ask me come!"
i looked at him in the eye and said. "hmm, what kind of answer would you prefer?"

and hmm who else.
oh liangkai went as well. some other girl asked him though. and yeah, throughout quite some time. i was thinking. how come he so close and familar with sec3 girls ah. i was thinking and thinking. and then suddenly it came to my realisation that, "oh... no wonder" (it's bad to write out here so i won't)

and i talked to my junior from way back in pri sch rebecca. yeah. never talk to her before. then uh quite interesting lah. to talk to your junior from pri sch only on the last year of sec. so yeah. i think that church service ain't that bad. Probably because they had a band and a very very enthu talker and that there are seats and that the environment is sufficiently cool and not humid.

their band was. well, not bad? quite okay luh. rock here rock there. then uh. followed by some pretty long speech. but he bothered to add in humour so it was pretty interesting. and there was a skit about valentine's day. and the guy said a pretty cool sentence.

"i think your dad must be a theif"
"why?"
"because he stole the stars and placed them in your eyes."

like wtf, everyone laugh.
then followed by some stupid preaching. about BEING FREE~! about breaking the chains that's holding you down. and BREAKING FREE~! and by breaking free, you're BEING FREE! and that you can feel FREE! you would be able to connect with god! like. righttttt. i wouldn't want to talk much about it. but they roughly mentioned about that for probably 2hours at least? adding up all the time that i was there.
but since the theme of this whatever has got smth to do with being free, i guess there isn't that much of a complain
it's just kinda annoying how people try many different ways to connect with you, like, to make you understand what they're saying. They keep trying and trying with so many different scenarios. And it's not like i don't get it on their first attempt. -.-

so well. that was the only boring part. but they did add in alot of humour. so i guess i can accept at least that much? =/
but blah. it didn't feel as much as of a church bah?

anyways
the planet shakers came. so here are some pictures.



well i didn't take alot of pictures. it's dark. and there wasn't much for me to capture as well. (ah the times when i wished that i had a DSLR camera. i want a new camera)

but there's smth that really annoys me.
first of all.
the church's band
"praise the lord
praise the lord
praise the lord
oh mighty lord"

planet shakers
"lord i need you
lord i need you
lord i need you
oh so magnificient"

no you see. it kinda gets on my nerves. sure. it's a church, express your love for god as freely as you want. but to this extent? no i think it's screwed up. If not for the lyrics. they would have made a good band. At least to me. Okay, i shouldn't say anything else about the lyrics. i do not wish to spark off a religious debate at my blog. so i anycase, i acknowledge that the Planet Shaker's dummer is pretty good. Yeah pretty good.


so my conclusion is.
such churches are relaxing
i do not know of how good or whatever it is. but it definitely took my mind off stuffs. i'm not sure if it's the church. or it's the same with whatever concert. but in any case, it wasn't that bad of an experience

so before i end all of this.

i want to say

"My love for you is constant like in the equation y=mx+c"

alright
the wonderful blogger did not post on valentines.
relax.
i did not EXACTLY got myself a date. but, well just went out with friends and stuffs. Didn't get to watch the curious case of benjamin buttons but watched Valkyrie instead.
trust me
DO NOT WATCH THAT.
it sucks. -.-
it would be nice as a story book, but up and running as a flim. no.
definitely no.

and hey.
i went to a church today
hallelujah
more details about it tomorrow.
for now i need some rest.
and.
my com's healthy again.
seems like the bios settings got some problem.

for people out there
i'm not the kind of person who'll only appreciate games with stunning graphics/gameplay and that it is published by some renowned game company

Though i'll just touch one game that i think i haven't mention on the blog

Command & Conquer 3 : Kane's Wrath


it's an expansion from Command & Conquer 3 : Tiberium Wars



with visually stunning graphics like this.
it's hard to not play it when it's right at your finger tips

attack of the scrins (alien race)


some long range shooting machine that i can't remember the name


so well.
here's the kind of game
that you would like to play every once in awhile to just relax your body and mind.

Dyson
http://www.dyson-game.com/index.php

it's a free unique game that is the Independent Games Festival Finalist
here's a screenshot of how it looks like


yeah when things get complicated

and yeah i changed back to XP for various reasons.
been formatting my com really often these days. like some normal thing already. so anyways, i'll end here. lazy say anymore.
go try out if you have the time
it has minimal requirements to run the game. even the at least 5 year old laptop my bro is using can run it without any problems. so yeah.

after i used the microphone
i went on to test how sucky speech recognition is.

man
you would never wanna command a computer using your voice. It's annoying. seriously.

This is the original text

Dispute over territory
Territorial dispute was another cause of tension between Iraq and Kuwait. They had inherited their borders from the British. Some of these borders were not very well-defined and continued to create problems for both sides long after the two states had gained independence from the British.


this is the voice text

The spirit 01 K curry and one

The resort is true with another consultation between Iraq and Kuwait. The head inherit the double those from the British. Some of these bought us were not very well be fine and clocked in at the crippled calls for both sides low cost of the postings had gained independence from British.


oh my. this is so friggin stupid.
i spent 30mins on a stupid tutorial that practically made me repeat everything i say at least twice. This was indeed a meaningful experience. Seems like it'll be a very long time before this speech shit gets perfected.

i'm in process of completing my desktop.
and currently i think it's approaching completion.

i got my 2.0M mini-jack wire extension so that i can connect either my computer or phone to the speakers within hand reach. (i might be changing that in due time as well. to something more advanced. )
then i finally got my microphone. (cheap one) but it works pretty well. So now basically, i got free sms, free calls due to that house phone. And now i can talk online as well, for free. Maybe i should consider solar panels in time to come.
now i keep thinking if i should get a webcam. I don't have a real practical use for it. but itll be cool. and it'll make my desktop environment conplete. Actually no. All i want now is another monitor. Dual monitor setup. But that'll require some saving? oh wells. we'll see we'll see

let me think about it.
i have a fast enough of a cpu
fast enough of a gpu
fast enough of a mouse
fast enough of a internet
good enough of a keyboard
big enough of a screen
loud enough of a speaker
clear enough of a microphone
large enough of a storage

what else do i want
i wonder why humans can't be satisfied with what they have. I'm really glad with what i already have but i don't seem to be that happy ley. i wonder what's wrong with me

i guess.
i'll just think about it seriously before buying anything else.

man
i can't wait for 21 days
it's so annoying that the same fucking thing just happens over and over again for 2 months. It happens so often that it's really getting on my nerves.

ah.
i think
studying really isn't that bad of a thing to do
i've already finished my SS studies. so i'm just running through again just for fun.

today PE
did i mention how annoying PE is to me. Or rather gym, i don't like gym. but i've been exercising on my own lately. no not because i'm trying to be funny or anything. But i realise that i just want to have a more fit body. Don't ask me why. But i only do that in my free time. Like the time that i really don't know what to do then i just do stuffs here and there while thinking of what to do.

yes it's stupid. don't tell me about it

okay i'll end it for now

hi i'm studying






go there if you want to know more.



Internet Explorer 8
is pretty good improvement from 7, but it still lacks some functions and has a bit of a problem with webpages here and there. oh wells. I guess i'll still stick with Firefox.

But i really do like the new skin of Windows Media Player.


maybe i'll change the desktop outside to windows 7 as well. it should be able to take it....

oh my oh my
tomorrow i have chem test.
tues i have SS test.
then following i have chinese mo xie
then following i have amaths test chapter 1~3
oh my. ( i think i'll try to use "oh my" instead of "fuck it" )

so yeah.
oh my.

i'm thinking about what i should do tomorrow.
go home study
go out blade
go out with friends
go home slack

hmm.
as the saying goes.
"when you're lost in your head, follow your heart"
so i shall follow my heart tomorrow.
i shall.
either continue to study now
or stay on the computer

okay
i feel much better now.
watching Gode Geass again
hmm.
I think i'll do the stupid animation thing. I think i would. Tomorrow would be a short long day (thanks to SSS)

but hey.
it'll be fucked up alright i guess.
though i'm much better, still not in that stable of a mood. Maybe i should go punch the wall listen to some music. Yawns, seems like i've been making alot of mistakes correction in this post. But i think that this is pretty screwed up fun.

Whatever, normal compo i also write something like that, except for the random vulgarities irregularities that happen in blog that doesn't happen normally in my essays.

moving on,just an old video that i found haha


oh wells.
i'll end it for now.
:D

time to reset everything
i'm going to reset everything from the start
to --/--/----
it'll be okay.

i've harden my resolve.
it should be okay.
game over.
press restart

now. after this, i'll post two more

all of a sudden
i realised that
tears don't bring anything back.

i'm thinking about stuffs nowadays
sometimes.
i wonder.
which is the better one.
"knowledge is good"
"ignorance is bliss"
(wisdom owns all)

but that ain't the point.
is knowing something good or bad? I talked to one of my friends before. And here's another sentence that i took from some show i suppose.
"forget all your pain, and you'll survive
remembering and living with the pain, then you'll be strong"

i now rewatching
Code Geass : Lelouch of the Rebellion
finished the first season just a moment ago. Starting on the second. It's just such a nice story. Pretty tragic. But nice.

a random youtube video.


sigh.
i'm going off to study.
too lazy to write stuffs today again

alright
the pictures that i took yesterday.
time i upload all of it
and since they are 1mb each, i decided to resize them.
because it'll just take too much of a time to upload all of it.






haha nice anot?
the photos not as nice as what you can see lah obviously.
a hp camera is no where close to a DSLR cam. i hope that i can get one though >.<

and blah
a bunch load of things happened. i got a job that i don't wanna do. More about that in the days to come. Dang.

"i didn't know that i can feel that fucked up"

i've been thinking these days
have my reactions towards events appropriate?
cause sometimes i think i give the wrong reaction.

okay.
p.s. ytd forget to post this.