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#086 - duality

oh yes. oh wtf.
oh, fun
oh, crap
oh, wtf?!

all right, guess what.
i couldn't take lycosa by it's own after all. So here i am using two keyboards to type and since that the thing is basically the same so the only different is that i'm placing my hand at a different position
haha.
will take a picture tmr to show you what i mean. Damn, i think the typing speed is more or less the same since there ain't any much difference from the other one haha.

damn. i feel so cool yet so stupid at the same time.
but thanks to this, i don't feel so weird using only lycosa hahaha

all right. now i think that ms chan is going through menopause or something like that. As stupid as it sounds, it is what it is to me. I mean, her lessons are always so high tensioned. What's the big deal huh! Everyone's like riding on a rollercoaster during her lessons. hais
In anycase, mr neo came to our class to observe during aMaths lesson. I think he just don't get why we all think that Mr chan is a better teacher. And oh wells. I think he'll feel pekchek cause we're like so much quieter during mr chan's lesson compared to his haha.

So oh wells. Tired Tired.
Just feel so frigging tired these days. I think i need a break from my endless loop of life.
Tomorrow, a new day, just another yesterday

hais, it doesn't seem to end yawns.
Oh, got to know chin hee better in a sense. When to play pool with him.
yuan zhao, jos, eugeneloh, tingwei, kiameng, me and chinhee. lol
i think really too long never play liao. from noob standard drop until newbie lol

crap dammit.
lazy upload photos. Time to sleep i guess?

Shouted out loud at 10:39 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#085 - yawns. yawns

can't take it today.
damn damn tired.

slept during chem lessons, tio dulan by ms chan.like crazy lke that, alot of other people also tio.
sibeh sian larh

Garhs.
Version1.0 stuffs really sucks at times lol.

omfg.
i'm tired i'm tired.
later then post zz

Shouted out loud at 7:12 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#084 - fixed

alright,
fixed my lycosa.
It's just that the driver not that well-supported yet. hais.

Damn, i love it SO MUCH that i think that i can't stand using school computers anymore haha.

Alright,
i created a miracle today.
a SUPER miracle.
i could not believe it myself.

During chinese lesson
The teacher gave out our test papers as usual. and AS USUAL. I didn't bother much about it since i probably won't get any high marks at all. In anycase, she was like giving out from low to high, i waited patiently,
slightly anxious as well.
who wanna fail that badly?

So as she gives out.
My anxiety grew like wtf.
I kept thinking. Oh fuck, did i like totally fail it or smth. Or smth like, i didn't come that day or i didn't hand up or it got lost some way inbetween somehow...

So it was like everyone got their paper.
and the teacher went

"hong.. hong. Kai Hong"
And i was like. =O finally.
"凯鸿在理解问答拿到最高分"
in that instant.
Everyone was like
*STUN*
Yes. so am i.
i literally stun for 5sec.
my mind was like
"huh? wtf, u're kidding me'
over and over again
Ad when i go up to take, the teacher took a look at me and said. ‘你等一下,我查有没有算错”
and oh, she didn't.
i 'm like laughing all the way. let's see. miracles DO happen sometimes. =O

oh wells.
besides that, some pretty eventful things happened today.
3F has some on going situation. oh wells. shalln't elaborate about it. Everyone seems pekcheked today. So am i. I'm in a sibeh irritable mood these days. Maybe i tio pms or what. OH WELLS.

whatever whatever
i wanna sleep

Shouted out loud at 8:19 PM | 2 Comments Links to this post

#083 - Lycosa.

yep. i've gotten my hands on it.

Razor Lycosa



YEESSSS.

nothing can feel better than this.
now, i got a serious problem

I CAN'T ALT-TAB OR SHIFT+ANYTHING
oh wt wtf wf.
oh wells, i'll fixed it asap. until den... zzz

Shouted out loud at 7:11 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#082 - Tuition

THANK YOU MINGLI FOR TUITION

oh, finally got her to tutor me today.
I HOPE I PASS MY MATHS TEST LOL.
AND, DON'T WORRY, I SURE PASS ONE, I WON'T WASTE UR EFFORTS SCREAMING AT ME. LOL.

eMaths, it's harder than aMaths for some reason, zzz.
Head.
Specs.
Green Butt.
Colorful hair.
Hamster eat.
Small bones.
Cleavage
out of position
-algeBra

oh wells.
it was a pretty fine day i guess
ahhh ah.
i'm feeling tired.
too much maths

Shouted out loud at 8:30 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#081 - Happy Birthday, EdisonLJB

Happy Birthday Edison!

It's been a pretty long time since i've seen you. Hah.
It's been pretty fun being with your pri sch friends again ya know. Doing all the stupid stuffs. Feeling as though time hasn't passed since we're P4. =O

Oh wells, here's a few pictures.


OUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT. HAHAHAHA




on the way there....








BLOW THE STUPID CANDLES.




OH WHAT IS THIS EDISON?




HORNY ASS.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

(ps. we tampered with his desktop)
ah it was a pretty fun day. too much to talk about
it'll be memorable, i guess.

Shouted out loud at 10:47 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#080 - u're gonna be mine

i've decided.
i'm going to buy lycosa.
i don't know why.
But i just feel like it.

nowadays i do alot of things through what i feel rather than what i think. It's kind of like "I just feel like it"

alright.
Didn't go school today as promised. Stayed at home and slack and slack and slack.
Eliz wanted to watch movie, consider, consider, consider.
At first agreed, but den decided not to after all. and i said something like
"I dun wan go lah, u wan den come my house lorh."
oh. Even though i repeated that a few times, i did not really expect them to come. So when she said "eh, which block ah"
I was like urh. *shit*

Oh anyways.
Suwern, EMPHASIZE on how cave-like my room is.
EH, UR HSE BIG, BIG LAAAARRRHHHHHHHH
But I LIKE MY CAVE LEY.
BLEAAHHHH

So anyways, have some materials.
no mood to post liao. tata

Shouted out loud at 10:34 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#079 - faen, sick

yes.
i'm sick.
i'm not going to sch tmr.
YAY
and zzz.

i'm tired.
nearly died in sch.
I love
I hate falling sick.

In anycase. I definately would not go sch tmr.
ah. forget it.

Shouted out loud at 9:26 PM | 1 Comments Links to this post

#078 - happy birthday, mingli3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINGLI.
u're the (whatever)rest.
u're that sotong.
u're that round head.
and urh.
*smiles*

-.-
okay it's lame but oh wells.
The day passed by normally, other than that there are alot of people coming to tell me. "eh today mingli birthday ley!"
if not it'll be like
"happy birthday kaihong!"

oh forget it.
here's a super cool photo that i had dilema posting it or not.



no, sometimes.
think before you actually do something.
that's the moral i learnt. =O

and no, and no, it's not done by me. In anycase. I'm turning myself into some kind of systematic person. It's kind of hard but i guess i'm getting along fine. I'll work like a computer if possible. In fact, i already am.

For all the maths, i don't think i actually understand it, but as a computer, i merely read the data, process it and give an end result.

No!!! expression!!!
I saw this pretty cool phrase

all music fades away
everything is stripped
and you come

IT'S LIKE. OH. OKAY. I GET IT. =O

Eh anyways. I seriously feel lyk defying the school totally. Some of these days i would. I might even take the mic and yell some, probably not profanities but some, something that the school wouldn't like.

Here's something to keep track of what i think.
"When you understand why u dismiss all other gods, u'll understand why i dismiss yous"

Why do christians believe in Jesus and not in Greek Mythology? It's the same thing. Firstly, greek mythology requires some sacrificing in some occasions, and need offerings done to the gods they believe in. And that there's different gods for different things. However, in christianity, u don't have to give anything other than your faith. It's as simple as that. That's why people believe in that.

You tell me. How can i be wrong when there are millions out there believing as well? Why not you think that there are actually also millions who don't as well?
And that you see. In the past, humans used to think that the earth is a flat plane ground. If you go too far, you'll drop off into the sky. However, now we all think that the earth is round and all that. Why? It's whether if you believe it or not. if everyone just stay that fking stubborn and thinks that the earth is flat, den the earth would be flat to us.

Just like pluto. It was a planet. But now they said that it's too small to be considered as a planet. Things change you know. Sometimes, you just have to differenciate between reality and virtual.
you know sometimes, it kinda sucks when everything just went the way you wanted it to.

Shouted out loud at 9:06 PM | 2 Comments Links to this post

#077 - photos?

slkejyrslkdfnjlf;k
laij;lskjdfs'kdjsd;klgs
gstgkjtg;likgjttigkj

Yea, that's about how i feel right now. =.=


i'm bored.
drew that during core.
OH WELLS. ZZZ.

and urh....


Suwern.
And.
Qi Xing?
=O


sibeh bad.
sit like nobody's business.


CHIO BU ALERT!


URH. OPS?
HAHAHA.

Shouted out loud at 8:13 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#076 - constant

faen!

I cut my hair.
It's pretty short.
But oh wells. What can i do. I can't leave long hair in such a crap sch like this.

I can seriously die in school today. Damn tired. As in those kind of, u fall aslp IMMEDIATELY after you lie on something that kind of feeling.
Kept falling aslp. Today seriously can't help it le. I think maybe i tmr dun go sch or smth. I don't know. Keep on tahan abit pekchek.

oh no, i'm falling aslp. zzz

Shouted out loud at 7:13 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#075 - wolfteam

ah?
ah ah ah.
Aiya.
Sian larh.

okay anyways, here's a super late photo.


Vanessa and Eliz

I took this 15days aago.
WAIT. WHERE'S ELIZ?
oh wells. xD

i'm tired.

Shouted out loud at 4:35 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#074 - gothic.

heh.
Went out with odelia today.
Damn, haven't seen her around for two years and.
hmm.
didn't recognize her immediately.
gooothiiicccc.
aw, it's pretty cool.
I wanted to try but i guess i'll spend my money on technology before fashion xD

oh wells.
Watched CJ7
And yes.
It's frigging funny.

walked and walked
talked and talked.
walked more.
talked even more.
I guess we didn't sit for like don't know how frigging long.
Aw.

Damn, too many stuffs to be written, i just summarise everything larh. In anycase, went "gothic shopping" for once. Saw many things that i probably wouldn't go look around for it. It's kind of like an "eye opener". damn, those stuffs looks pretty cool. The price tag that came with it is pretty cool as well.

And after all that.

finally the classic.
Come my house watch anime. =O
so watch watch. talk talk abit. And aw, time for her to go liao. haha. Den my classic, go down play table tennis =x

and it pretty much rounds up the day.
Here's another picture


it's like.
how often do you see people changing the poster. =O

Shouted out loud at 11:00 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#073 - OH YES.

OH YES.
I've taken some pictures.
i'm here to share with you guys.
all fans who come my blog regularly.

HERE'S A BIG TREAT.




OH WHO EVER IT LOOKS LIKE,
IT'S JUST COOINCIDENCE.
PLEASE DON'T FLAME ME.
LAUGH ALL YOU WANT. OPPPSSS
eh WAIT, NOT I DRAW ONE HOR

Labels:

Shouted out loud at 11:11 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#072 - Happy Valetines Day

ahh.
Valentines came.
As usual.
Never really celebrate or anything. Well, most guys didn't really celebrate. (or maybe they did) So, another normal day passed by, like all the other 15years lol.
i just don't
aw. Joseph got two love letters
congratssss
have the right
okay, guess i wasn't really in the mood for anything.
PE drained every single strength from my body. For some reason, even though i didn't run alot, i didn't play alot. I still became like, zombified kind of feeling. oh wells.
to like you
i'm tired today.

Shouted out loud at 8:52 PM | 1 Comments Links to this post

#071 - valentine's tomorrow!

eh.
eh eh eh.
Kai Hong.
Valentines tmr ley.
Shall it be an interesting year ahead, or a boring one?

aw come on.
=X

A quite sian day.
Got this 'super intense' lesson with that "i-put-too-much-empha.size-with-ev.ery-sin.gle-word-i-say" teacher. Yawns. The girls got some hair checking today. I wonder how many people got caught =x

Damn, since today they mentioned that they are gonna do a massive search. I felt like guailaning everyone and walking to every single person i see, point to her hair and say "你的头发不合格" but oh wells.

okay. i shall not elaborate much about school.

There's a "problem" that i wanna address. Well, i don't really call that a problem, but yes it does get on my nerves sometimes.
Oh what else, mingli.
I mean, come on lah. What's the fuss about it.
Here's a thing to clarify with everyone. Or rather, this is what it is.
Most rumours are fake, you just chose to exaggerate it.
Even IF it is true.
For either the guy or girl,
if that person, (take for example, me)
did not take any action towards the person i like.
It is a sign that i am not prepared for any advancement other than friendship, otherwise it is an indicator that i am not ready.
That is what it is.
For this, i hope you guys read this, and stop buzzing around everyday. It is irritating, for both me and her. Even if your intentions were good, trust me. Nothing good comes out from an irritating mouth.

oh, and back to the question of valentine's day. I look forward to have many new couples being formed tmr. And probably many broken hearts. However, in our school. I doubt much is going to happen.

Shouted out loud at 7:26 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#070 - no no no

oh.
sch.
tired.
nearly.
slept.
okay i did, fine. =O

chinese compo
i started the revolution
give up hp first. least she gets on my nerves with all her unnecessary rantings.
got ALITTLE closer to mr neo.
got to know chowyen.

oh, i entered yanhao's family tree suddenly.
i'm yanhao's son.
i got dunno how many siblings all of a sudden.
my wife is chowyen for some reason i don't know what.
i have a child called alvina whom i don't know who she is yet.
and WALAU, WHY ASSIGN CHOWWWW, GET SOMEONE TALLER MAHHH.

aw.
i think my hair's screwed.
time to cut.
(wait, when is it not. =O )

Damn, i have a new habit. I'm never gonna on the lights in my room unless necessary. I mean, come on! The glow on the mouse just looks and feels so frigging cool.
I think i should have enough for Lycosa,
a glowing keyboard =O

Damn, now i'm left with a few things to upgrade.
den even if this com is slow, i'll be able to tahan for a few years more.
I need a new sound card.
X-Fi
~$50

i need a new monitor. That's all.
Maybe a new fan inside the com.
Den in time to come, a new keyboard.
Change the motherboard.
Hopefully i can change the processor as well.
Let the com be at least 2GB. damn.

i'm waiting for my dinner.
i dun wanna go sch larh.
maybe i should have slept during weekends rather than treating it as a "sleep-late-day".
why can't the school just let us have all our hw be done on a computer.
Why not make it a must for everyone to have a laptop. Why can't we do maths using computer. Why can't we have more hw regarding projects that uses computer rather than those meaningless paper-type assignment?

Damn, i think i have a serious com addiction.

Shouted out loud at 7:53 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#069 - Razor Diamondback 3G



Razor Diamondback 3G

yes. it's mine.
S$79
after discount
S$69.

-1800dpi Razor Precision 3G infrared sensor
-7 programmable hypersponse buttons
-16-bit ultra-wide data path
-Zero-acoutstic ultraslick teflon feet
- On-the-fky sensitivity adjustment
- 6400frames/5.8megapixels per second

yea. it's lousier than a copperhead and a lachesis. But WHO CARES. No stock for copperhead. Lachesis is out of my league. Diamondback 3G. Now, i can't even click on "My Computer" properly. It just flies here and there.
On max sensitivity,
1cm of movement = scroll whole screen.

it's like oh wtf.
i got super giddy while playing wolfteam using max settings.
i reset it to 80% sensitivity, slowly train up lorh.
and yep, i think nxt time people come i have to change mouse le. Unless u also use another razor mouse. This mouse seriously need train one.
As much as i love it, i hate how difficult it is to use.

So now.
in school.
DB.
"I have a sorethroat today and hence i would not be able to make the announcement."
hey.
you know what?
"YES."

I mean, COME ON. how often can YOU brighten up my morning?!
that statement, immediately brightened up my mood. And sent me chuckling at you somewhere among the crowd.

hmm. now that i've changed my mouse, i'll have to change my keyboard sometime. But for the moment, i still like my keyboard even though it's alittle loud. oh wells.

oh wells.
damn hungry.
i hate sch.
but den again
it gives me stuffs to post about
Suwern and eliz.
becareful. =O

Shouted out loud at 6:50 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#068 - time to act.

all right.
i think i got damn sian of my mums constant nagging i pretty much told her off today.
well, i survived and all that but i think i pissed her off pretty much

i keep talking and pointing out what she's doing wrong until she finally gave up and say
"i wrong lah i wrong lah okay?"
well, even though i looked unconvinced.
yea, it's that classic feeling i always get
"YES."

ah yes.
i simply love CNY.
i simply love that tiny red packet which does wonders for everyone.

and damn, i always say that i wanna change my blogskin but when i actually come down to do it, i suddenly lost the mood and dun feel like doing so anymore.

i'm going to buy a Razor Copperhead.
anyone interested in coming to buy with me?

and damn,
i said a pretty interesting thing to my mum today.
She told me off with this
"Don't act like you know everything"
and i replied her with
"you think you know everything?
the one who say 'don't act like you know everything'
is actually the one who's acting like he or she knows everything"

and hey, i'm learning to type with a new style. Usually after you type something ur finger will lift up abit right? I'm learning to type without lifting my finger up from the keyboard, so my fingers are practically always on the keys at any one time that i'm typing. So i'm like doing a "sweeping motion" on the keyboard. Basically, i don't know why i'm doing that but it feels good and i think that it'll increase my rate of typing over time.

i'm gonna quit soccer!
for the dunno how many time i'm sayin that. I just keep going back to playing soccer, seems like the passion just can't die off lololol.
In anycase. try dude.
TRY.
AHHHH
I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL. ZZZ

Shouted out loud at 9:57 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#067 - happy chinese new year

aw.
where did i go during such an important time?!

for those who came and keep refreshing...
sorry laah hor.
people abit sianed these days.
i mean, i love slacking all day long.
and that mood really gets me deep
so much so that.
i no mood blog.
i mean, there ain't exactly anything special that i'm going through, what i'm doing these days is probably the same as you guys. well, minus the visiting as my family somehow don't do so.

aw.
i'm tired.
oh wells.
unless there's smth interesting.
i guess i wouldn't post.
-*wow, tis is short*-

Shouted out loud at 10:16 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#066 - Chinese New Year Eve.

It's finally Lunar Chinese New Year Eve.

it's when people go around saying the same thing over and over again. Expecting to get money from it. damn, we should have it everyday. I mean, money's no problem if it's like that.
Now that's what you call a circulatory economy. =D

and aw.
there ain't much for me to say.
but i think.
i think i hate the reverend more than DB.
he's more irritating. i guess.

oh yea.
just ate home steamboat.
feeling pretty full.
i feel like i'm gonna fall aslp.
sibeh tired.
nothing much to complain about today.
angbaos. =X
i think i'm gonna break

Shouted out loud at 3:57 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#065 - yo. tired

tired tired tired.
slpt during lesson today
damn tired.
Been feeling giddy these days
wonder if it's the lack of nutrients or if i'm pregnant or smth.

alright.
the day passed by pretty normally.

didn't kaobei the teacher much.
wasted time in school.
tmr need to have 2 lessons.
may i ask.
WHY THE FUCK.
DO YOU WAN GIVE US 2 LESSONS.
like only?!
i mean, if you wan let us have fun, den dun have lessons lah!
if not u put full day, let us complain also can what.
put 2 super guailan can.

damn, there's always bound to have someone to irritate me everyday. zzz

Shouted out loud at 7:39 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#064 - daily life.

alright.
I have one thing to complain about and 2 interesting things to talk about
let's start with the interesting stuffs.

Today when going to kelvin's hse. We saw this auntie, trying to cast the hook. Den she bend back...
*THROWS*
OH YES.
YEEEEESSSSS.
I never seen such thing happened before.
SHE HOOKED THE TREE BEHIND HER.
It was like, aww, it's just so not gonna happen and it did! =D
it kind of like totally brighten up my mood.
and yea, she did catch smth from the tree.
2 LEAVES =DDD

So well. on my way home. I heard this.
Middle age guy.
Around late thirties.
He was like. on the phone and UNEXPECTEDLY.
He kind of shouted.
"FUCK YOUR MOTHER CHEEBYE LAH"

And aw, he looked so businessman like. It came as a surprise. But more of a pleasant feeling that not. xD

Alright, time to complain.
Chan Chui Leng.
aww, if the names and incident happens to match what you experience, it is purely coincidental.
Omg, it's not like she's a bad teacher or anything. I mean, can you just stop speaking in such an irritating manner.
Your mum gave you a perfect piece of mouth for you to talk. You don't have to spoil it like this.
Stop talking like.

"plants give off? Oxy?geeeennn
class, are you? listening?
it's time to hand up your? chem?---work? sheeeeet
now,this is going to travel up and? come out from the? ?? ?? fun-nel.
sodium carbon??--naatteee

AW COME ON.
JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP LAH.
okay, i ain't trying to be mean to you. You ain't being a bad teacher.
HOWEVER.
come on lah, not the same style can be used on everyone.
I mean, if this class isn't responsive to this style of teaching method, SHOULDN'T YOU JUST CHANGE YOU STUPID WAY OF TEACHING? RATHER THAN FORCING US TO COMPLY WITH YOUR WISHES.

oh damn.
had a pretty bad mood in class.
cause there's devotion in the morning.

someone asked me.
"is christianity that bad?"
My answer is
"no"

I mean, of course it's nothing bad. It's like. a pillar of support for mental growth for. i put it crudely, weaker minded people. So there is nothing bad about it. It's just that those people are ignoring the obvious and is telling us to do the same which is something i cannot accept.

oh wells. shall end it here. i'm lookin forward to a nice rest in CNY

Shouted out loud at 7:20 PM | 0 Comments Links to this post

#063 - Band Concert

aw.
Went for AHS Band Concert.(wif yujun)
well. what can i say.

GOOD JOB.

I mean, well, though the whole thing wasn't like perfectly perfect... Yea, it's pretty good all round. haha.

and i gave that BIG BIG YELLOW LOOKING LIVING ORGANISM to mingzz.
Well. Even though i wanted to get a bigger one. There ain't any bigger in the shop. =X

anyways. I shall post more of my inner thoughts in the blog more oftenly liao i guess.

So yesterday night, during the concert, i was sitting there. The atmosphere around was pretty high and all that. However, there's this slight sense of sadness. Maybe it's because of the lighting, maybe it's because if the music.

I don't know.
But it's like. I keep thinking, yes, this is fun and all that. I see the band people slugging their guts out just to perform a good piece for everyone. But in the end of the day.
Would we actually remember this like we did now?
Would we just, cast this event, and just think of it as "just-an-event"?

This are the times which we treasure i guess. And these events are what we cry for when we eventually get seperated. Is it just me or am i just starting to try treasure things more? Every now and then i think of. Yea, i may be vexed over homework, this and that.

But those are only problems which we face at this age. Everything that happens now. Is once in a lifetime kind of thing. Once you missed or don't treasure it, poof. It's gone and you can't get it back. when we are seperated from each other due to class. Our bonds are stretched, some may be lost inbetween.

And new bonds are formed. and the old ones may even be forgotten. I mean, i kind of hate how humans work. Or more specifically, how our memory works. Because if you think of it this way, friends are literally your stepping stones towards maturity. oh wells.

In any case, i'll conclude with
Life's just like that.

so after the concert we wanted to play soccer. Like 10pm. With no lights. But couldn't find ball so went home lorh.
wanted go simpang but tio pangsehed.
So actually got, me, adriel, javier, benedict, shanyi, chimin, samuel, mingchiang, liankai, hongkai.
But in the end chimin, samuel, hongkai, javier wan go home. den ben also need go home.
So never go simpang lorh. haha. oh wells.
I love weekends =D

Shouted out loud at 9:58 AM | 1 Comments Links to this post

#062 - DOTA.

oh hi.
i'm back to gaming.
but only abit lah
I'M PROUD TO SAY
I HAVEN'T OWE A HW UNTIL NOW.
(all never do one on that day will do and handup)

i'm playing from start.
I'm playing DOTA.
OKAY. STOP CRITISIZING ME.
i'm just bored.
i mean, if all ur classmates are like talking about DOTA and you don't understand a heck of it. It's pretty pathetic ya know. I mean, you don't have to like it. At least understand it.
It's just like someone talking
!@*@#(%@#
den the other person replies
@*%^#$^)(
and they understand each other while you don't.
so well, i decided to give DOTA another try.

Got pretty lucky this time. I bet Jamus is pissed with me. Cause i super tyco. LOL. oh wells, maybe he's just unlucky or smth haha.

And about the christianity, somehow, no one seems to tag saying that they agree or disagree with me. I mean, i see the stats, people come people go. But no one really replies a more sensitive topic.

oh wells.

alright.
my own damn life.
3C. Starting to get bonded in a sense.
started talking to more people.
starting to get tired in class.
hmmm.

Actually, i sometimes think.
is what i'm feeling correct?
I mean, as humans, we do get jealous from time to time.
BUT.
I got jealous over something, which i don't think i should have. Does anyone has that kind of feeling. Like, the heart of conquering? The jealousy of not having something or that that something is something that everyone has. It's just a weird indescribable feeling which i think most people will have?

I feel conceited. I feel selfish.
Why the hell do i feel that the world should revolve around me.
Why do i think that i am the only one thinking this way.
Why do i think that people don't really know me.
Why do i feel like i'm living my life from a 3rd person view?

okay. from here onwards.
PLEASE DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU ARE SURE THAT U WON'T BE AFFECTED BY MY THOUGHTS.

i thought. what meaning does life hold for all of us?
We're just a tiny part of the society. What we do do not directly affects anything. It's how people want to respond to what we do that decides what is going to happen.
We grow up.
We're forced to go school
We're forced to learn things we don't want to.
We're inputed with fabricated media
We're inputed with thoughts the government want us to have.
And den.
We set out to work.
we earn money.
we get a family.
we live a normal life like anyone else. what meaning does it hold?

It seems as though we exist just for the sole purpose of pushing the human race to another level. If there is such thing as god. Den maybe we are just experimental tools for him. How do you know that this is the only universe. How do you know that, maybe because that people like me that arise. My kind of people are considered as the failed experiment which does not obey the creator's words?

We lived in a controlled life. We have to, or else there would be social disorder. But however, what point is there to live in everybody's life?

The feelings we get. How can we be so sure that it is ours. How can we be so sure that, when i think of this, it is MY own mind, and not being influenced by some others? After all, all these feelings are just part of the chemical reaction. If you have more of any, you'll just experience that particular feeling more often. So how do you know how true it is?
Of course, physically it is true.
But on another angle, you are never sure if it is really you.

Here i am sitting. writing on my blog.
This is my life. However, it is just the same as everyone else. We are just like, caged up animals. Can't you see. Everyone goes to work, they go to school. The same pattern repeats for everyone. Different age groups have different patterns, but they are afterall the same.

In love, we choose our partners, den we settle down. And den, we maintained human race and den we die off. The pain inbetween. Is there really pain? Who really knows about the pain you go through? Like i've said, there's no way to measure your feelings.
So what if you understand.
You can't feel it anyways.
when you see a big wound on another person.
You only know it hurts because you've experienced the same thing too.

However, on a mental side. When a person tell you his/her problems, of course, we understand the person better. We try to help them along. We understand what they feel. Yea right, you understand. But it's that feel that matters. How would they understand something they have never gone through?

And then again. The contradiction is that a feeling is basically just a form of chemical reaction so it does not has any value on it's own. But humans place value on those because it is what makes a human a human.

And den again, brings me back to the point that there is actually no value in anything.
It's just you and other putting value on them.
And hence, i seriously do not see any meaning in life.
For those who read this and is confused. Yes i am confused too. It's just the contradictions within me.
--the end--


that's all i go slp liao

Shouted out loud at 6:22 PM | 1 Comments Links to this post